Some of her best shots yet. She should never go near bleach again! And she should seriously think of getting those legs insured! They're endless!
Do you're thing girl.
ARENA is a hilarious magazine potentially designed to enforce male stereotypes. I mean check out these 6 things they advise men to say to women. After all we women are "still essentially vain creatures."
1 Favourable comments about her appearance
As a rule of thumb, the vaguer the better – call her ‘beautiful’, ‘attractive’, ‘hot’, she will buy it. Hair is all right, or pick an item of clothing (the more ridiculously outlandish it is – bead-covered or high-heeled, let’s say – the more likely she is to be proud of it) to compliment both her appearance and her taste. Random comments are quite good; tell her you like her arms, ears, or knees and it’s so weird it seems believable.2 Unfavourable comments about someone else’s appearance
3 “You remind me of someone… it’s Kate Moss”
Pick a woman that you both know and have seen recently. Confide that she “looks terrible”, “has been putting away the pies” or “got dressed in the dark” and your companion will preen. This is true of any woman except her mother, sister and best friend. She will enjoy it if you do it about her sister or best friend, but won’t be able to show it. She won’t enjoy it if you do it about her mother because that’s what she’s going to look like in 20 years.
One member of the Arena team is still recovering from the time a DJ called her ‘a cooler, smarter Lindsay Lohan’. It doesn’t matter at all whether she looks anything like her celebrity ‘doppelganger’ – your correspondent has been in the past compared to Cameron Diaz, despite bearing more of a resemblance to David Cameron – she wants to think she does, and that is convincing enough. However it is very, very important not to suggest a low-rent celebrity: Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Moss and Jennifer Aniston are perfect; Jordan, Kerry Katona and Sporty Spice are potentially disastrous.4 “I’m not hungry enough to eat this large bar of Dairy Milk”
You have probably been entreated to drink more water on the basis that you are made up of around 70% water. You might not realise, however, that your girlfriend is made up of around 70% cheap branded chocolate and needs to top it up with at least one bar a day. However pissed off she is with you, if she sees that flash of purple foil, she will want it.5 “Look at this picture of a kitten that I just found!”
Or if she’s not a cat person, a puppy. Or a baby, preferably inside something weird like a plant pot or a sandwich. Even something really shit like a guinea pig is OK.6 “I can’t use any lines on you”
If any of the above fails to work, you have a cynical bitch on your hands. She won’t trust a word you say. But because she thinks she is far too clever to fall for flattery, she is surprisingly susceptible to flattery about how marvelously perceptive and brainy she is.
Geez. I guess boys will be boys!
